I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
