I looked at my own cervix.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have aggressive nipples.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
