i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
