I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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