So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
