Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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