just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
