Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
