god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
sex in a hospital.. check
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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