Whod you bang
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
