He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
