Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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