He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
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