you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
