Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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