You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
