Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
