so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize