I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize