Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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