remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
