I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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