I got chris browned last night
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
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He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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