So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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