dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
