make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
