I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
