What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
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Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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