oh god the rape fog is back!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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