smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
