office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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