glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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