I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
