i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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