my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
barbara walters just said penis...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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