The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize