Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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