Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
that's an acceptable place to lick
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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