if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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