it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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