Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her vagine was all disorganized.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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