i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
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he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He shit in the fireplace
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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