You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
