It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
