Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
