Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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