Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize