like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
