All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
