Three words: puerto rican gang bang
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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