oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
