I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
