It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
