I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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