Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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