And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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