When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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