He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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