WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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