U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
