i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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