i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
