U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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