I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
