im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
