you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
FUCK WHALES
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
